How to Stop Counting Yourself Out Before You Try

To stop counting yourself out, choose one possibility you've dismissed and take a practical step that gives you real information. That might mean asking about a role, sending an application, talking to a potential customer, or finding people already working on an issue you care about. Give yourself something concrete to evaluate.

In Don't Count Yourself Out, Makeda Boehm connects historic election results to a familiar personal decision: whether to participate before you know how things will turn out. The episode asks listeners to consider the work, ideas, and conversations they may have ruled out too early. Its wider purpose is more money, time, and options, and the life those resources can help a person build.

Listen to Don't Count Yourself Out on the Seed & Society® podcast.

What does counting yourself out mean?

Counting yourself out means treating an assumed rejection as a settled answer before you've made the request or tested the idea. You decide you won't get the role, so you don't ask about it. You assume nobody would want the service, so you never talk to a potential customer. You have something useful to contribute and decide the conversation already has enough people in it.

There may be real limits to examine. An application can have an eligibility requirement. A business idea can demand resources you don't currently have. A commitment can compete with work or family responsibilities. You can investigate those details and decide what fits your circumstances. The important move is to identify which details are known and which conclusions you've supplied yourself.

Turn an assumed no into a question you can answer

Start by naming one possibility. Keep it specific enough that you could learn something about it. “Grow my career” might become “find out what experience this role requires.” “Start a business” might become “ask potential customers how they're handling this problem today.” “Help my community” might become “learn who is already working on this issue and what support they need.”

Then write down the reason you've dismissed it. If you think you lack a qualification, look for the actual requirement. If you assume there won't be demand, identify who could give you a useful account of the problem. If you expect a conversation to end in rejection, ask whether you've heard that answer from the person involved.

These questions make the next step easier to choose:

• What would this take?
• What do I need to learn?
• Who could help me understand it?
• What's one way to try that fits my current life and resources?

You don't have to resolve the entire future before answering the first useful question. An initial conversation can help you decide whether another conversation, an application, or a small test makes sense.

Choose an action that gives you real information

A useful next action produces something you can examine: an answer, an experience, a requirement, or a clearer description of the problem. It also has a limit you can understand. You can ask about a role before deciding to change jobs. You can learn how potential customers handle a task before committing to build a service. You can ask a community organization what would help before promising your time.

Decide what you're trying to learn before you act. For a career conversation, that could be the experience the role actually needs. For a customer conversation, it could be whether the problem happens often enough to deserve further attention. For community work, it could be the kind of contribution an existing group can use.

Afterward, record the answer in ordinary language. What did you find out? Which assumption changed? What remains unknown? What does the answer suggest you should do next? A response may lead you to continue, adjust the idea, or put it aside. Each is a decision you can make with more information.

Use AI to help you prepare

AI can help you work through your questions and organize the information you already have. Give it the actual situation, the possibility you're considering, and the limits that matter. You might ask it to help separate facts from assumptions or prepare questions for a conversation.

A practical starting prompt is:

I'm considering [specific possibility]. I've been assuming [reason it won't work]. Here's what I actually know: [facts and sources]. My current limits are [time, resources, and commitments]. Help me identify what I still need to learn and one practical next action. Ask about missing details instead of guessing.

Check the response against the actual requirements and your own circumstances. If AI supplies an eligibility rule, qualification, or factual claim, verify it at the source before relying on it. Keep your judgment involved in deciding whether the proposed action is useful and appropriate. Then take the step that requires your participation.

Connect the action to the life you want

It's okay to want your career to grow or your business to earn well. It's okay to want more ease for your family and more opportunity for your community. In Makeda's work, more money means resources to act, more time means room to think and be present, and more options means more ways forward.

That connection can help you choose which possibilities deserve your attention. Ask what you want the change to make possible. A career move might support learning or family needs. A business idea might give you a way to use a skill you care about. A community project might address a practical problem close to home. The purpose should be recognizable to you.

Makeda's reminder, “Impossible is I'm possible,” invites another look at an assumption that has become too final. You can acknowledge difficulty and still examine whether an effort is worthwhile. Give the idea enough attention to find out whether it could become something real.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I stop counting myself out?

Name one possibility you've dismissed, identify what you actually know about it, and choose a next action that gives you information. Make the step specific enough to complete and review.

What if I really don't meet a requirement?

Use the actual requirement to guide your decision. You might ask for clarification, learn what would qualify you later, or choose another opportunity. Keep genuine requirements separate from assumptions about who usually succeeds.

Do I need confidence before taking the first step?

You can begin with a question you want answered. A conversation or small test can give you information to use when deciding what comes next, even while the outcome remains uncertain.

Can I test a business idea while keeping my job?

A bounded first step could be researching a problem or talking to potential customers. Check applicable employment terms and fit the activity around your existing commitments before deciding what you can pursue.

How can AI help with the next step?

AI can help organize your facts, identify missing information, and prepare questions. Give it relevant context, check its work, and verify consequential factual claims. You decide which action fits your circumstances.

This article was developed by the Seed & Society® AI blog employee from Makeda Boehm's approved podcast episode. Makeda did not personally review this article line by line.